Dealing With Difficult People

By Len D’Innocenzo, CEO, CRKInteractive

Unless you work on a deserted island, dealing with people is a fact of life. The better you are at it, the easier it will be to get along—on and off the job.

No matter how even tempered you are, you probably know one or two people whose behavior put your good nature to the test. If these people happen to be colleagues, superiors, subordinates or customers and clients with whom you must deal on a daily basis, your ability to handle them will be critical to your success.

Dealing with difficult people begins with identifying and naming the behaviors that trigger a strong reaction in you. The more you learn about difficult people, the better you understand and deal with them. Even if you don't end up liking a person, getting to know him or her can lessen the feelings of tension. Understanding where they're coming from and what makes them tick is an excellent way of dealing with difficult people.
Lets examine two types of difficult people that you will have to deal with in your career. While some of the situations may not have happened to you personally, we know that they do occur. Reviewing each of these fictitious difficult people will prepare you for the real encounter.

Barry the Backstabber

Barry the Backstabber is someone who betrays your trust, and such a person can be deadly to your career or your success with a client project. Whether his motives stem from insecurity or ruthless ambition, Barry the Backstabber stands ready, and willing to make you look bad.

Unfortunately, Barry the Backstabber may not always be easy to identify, unless he already has a reputation. But there are clues that should make you wary. Is Barry the Backstabber someone you've never been close to, but all of a sudden he is pouring on the charm trying to be your best friend? Is he asking you a lot of personal questions? Have you heard through the grapevine that he is trying to find out about you through others? These are signs that Barry the Backstabber is gathering intelligence—possibly to use against you.

Dealing with Barry The Backstabber A good rule of thumb is to be especially careful about what you say to people when you first meet. The trick is to be friendly and cordial without spilling your guts and revealing your innermost feelings to people you really don't know yet.

To Barry the Backstabber, even an innocent comment like "I'd like to live in Chicago someday" could be used to try to make people believe that you are uncommitted to the company and planning to move away. Barry the Backstabber may be trying to climb the corporate ladder, and if he perceives you as a threat he'll seize any opportunity to discredit you.

No matter how good a judge of character or sincerity you think you are, the best defense against Barry the Backstabber is not to say too much. Avoid revealing your career or family plans, personal problems, gripes, or pet peeves to anybody in your office.

Society may be learning to be more tolerant these days, but that doesn't mean your company or client has. Remember TMI—Too Much Information—can be harmful to you.

If Barry the Backstabber is a client you need to be especially careful about what you say. Barry has his own agenda and may have it in for you or your company. He may be looking to find a way slow down your project. Even worse, he may be trying to sabotage the project altogether. A good rule of thumb is remind Barry the Backstabber that your there to do a job for his company. You're working for them.

Mike the Manipulator

Mike the Manipulator gets others to do his job for them through trickery, charm, or by eliciting sympathy. And the slickest part is that you won't realize you've been conned into doing his job or anything else he wants until it's too late.

Mike the Manipulator starts by engaging you in friendly, casual conversation. As an afterthought, he says, "By the way, could you do me a favor?" or "I wonder if you could help me out with something. I'm really tied up with a project and you're so good at writing letters (or organization, or filing, or research, or whatever the necessary task he wants you to do for him happens to be)."

This smooth talker may conceal his request as an opportunity for you to take on more responsibility and show what you can do. Not that he plans to give you any credit for doing his work.

Another maneuver might be to tell you how swamped he is and, wouldn't it be great if someone would help him finish this project so he could leave the office and have dinner with his family for a change.

Dealing with Mike the Manipulator Mike the Manipulator's goal is for others to do his job. What do you say in response to his tricky maneuvers? Some possible replies:

1. I'd be glad to help you, but I'll have to check with my boss first. He has me on an important project
2. I'd love to help, but I'm straight out today, myself. If I get some free time, I'll let you know. But it looks like I'll be working late tonight like you!
3. I'm willing to help you tonight if you can stay late tomorrow and help me.

Since Mike the Manipulator's goal is to get something for nothing, he'll probably steer clear of you in the future. If he is truly sincere (and everyone will need help at some time) then this last approach will let you know he is willing to help you in return.

If Mike the Manipulator is a client, watch out for nibbling during a negotiation or extra items outside of the scope of work. Mike is famous for requesting just "one more thing" he needs to make a deal happen. He's looking for something extra and usually doesn't want to pay anything for it. Refer Mike back to the statement of work or to company policy. If nibbling is one of Mike's negotiating tactics—don't make a concession without getting something in return. You want to negotiate with a win-win strategy.

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Len D’Innocenzo is a co-founder of CRKInteractive, a US-based provider of cutting-edge performance development programs for over 20 years. Northbound Learning has an exclusive Canadian partnership with CRK.

How to Leave Voicemail Messages That Resonate with Prospects

By Sian Henderson
Program Delivery Director, Northbound Learning

As frustrating as voicemail is when making chase calls to prospects, it’s the norm and unfortunately, there is an inverse relationship between the size of a company and the ability to connect in person. That is, the bigger and more attractive the prospect company, the lower the chance of your prospect picking up the phone. Like everything else in the prospecting process, you should measure your results in this area. The number of contact attempts divided by the number of connections with your prospect is called “contact ratio.” Sales reps that I’ve worked with report contact ratios on the high end of 30% and a mere 2% on the low. With voicemail confronting you so often, how can you increase your chances of being called back? Here are 6 common mistakes to stay away from:

1) You don’t actually leave a message

I had to get this out of the way because I still run into some salespeople who have been trained (poorly albeit) to “never leave a message”. This makes no sense. Why would you give up the opportunity to get your valuable message into your customer’s ear? I actually prefer to get voicemail on the first attempt. Why? Because it paves the way for my next call. It gives the prospect the purpose of my call and what’s potentially in it for him to have a conversation with me rather than just catching him off guard. Think about it. When you are interrupted from doing something by an incoming sales call, what’s the quickest and easiest way to get back to what you were doing? That’s right—by saying no. Have you ever quickly said “No thanks” to a telemarketer or a door canvaser and then thought later, “Hmm. I might have been interested in looking into that actually.” Even if it may be something you might be interested in buying, the natural knee jerk reaction is to say no. By having your prospect listen to a well crafted voicemail prior to speaking with you, it can prevent the knee jerk reaction.

2) You don’t have a Compelling Business Reason (CBR)

There must be a reason and perceived benefit for the listener to take time out of their busy day to have a conversation with you. Too many salespeople position the voicemail around how great they or their company is instead of what might be in it for the prospect to call you.

3) You ask for too much

Your first goal in a chase call or voicemail should be to have a two-way conversation. Salespeople shouldn’t ask for a meeting without having first established G.A.S.—that is, value that they may be able to Gain for the prospect, future issues they may help them Avoid or current problems that they might help them Solve. A voicemail should be requesting a very low commitment—a brief conversation to see if there might be a fit between some challenges the prospect has and your company’s capabilities for instance.

4) You “wing it”

Some salespeople are against using a phone script. Common reasons are, “It sounds so fake”, “You can’t predict what the prospect is going to say”, or my personal favorite, “I like to mix it up so I sound fresh”. Unfortunately, these same people have little success in booking appointments and after listening to them in the field, it’s easy to see why. Their voicemails are all over the map: convoluted, weak and generally pointless in nature. Yes, some people sound like they are reading when they use a script but only because they haven’t put the time in to practice it until it sounds natural. I do a little bit of amateur acting and on the first read-through of our scripts, it’s terrible. I sound 100% like I’m reading and I am! After rehearsing my lines hundreds of times over, however, it becomes a different story on opening night. A high priced Hollywood actor would never ask to roll the cameras until they know their lines down pat and neither should you.

5) You leave too much time in between voicemails

If you call your prospects once every few weeks, it’s easy to become forgotten. On the other hand, if you only leave a couple of days in between your calls to a prospect, you will be forefront and they will feel more compelled to respond. At the end of each voicemail you should say something like, “If I don’t hear back from you by say, end of day tomorrow, I’ll try you again at 10:15 on Thursday.” Your prospects will get the idea very quickly that you’re not going to be giving up anytime soon. Strike a reasonable balance between being persistent and pesky.

6) You act too submissive

If you act like a lesser business person begging for the prospect’s consideration, you have reduced yourself and the prospect can lose respect for you. You are one business person requesting to speak to another business person to see if there may be a mutual benefit of working together. Approach the call from an Equal Business Footing (E.B.F.) perspective. Picture how you might speak to another person you meet in a park while walking your dogs together. You wouldn’t be pushy or threatening. That’s how you should think of your prospect when you’re leaving a voicemail. If you sound relaxed, confident, open and honest, your prospect will be much more likely to want to speak with you.